- FADE IN:
- INT. PAYROL COMMAND - FACING EARTH AT 160K MI (80K TO MOON)
- [NB. HALF-EARTH WESTSIDE SUNLIT: SAME SIDE AS MOON]
- A VERNIER THRUST PUFF … His HDV-camera telescoped at Earth,
- Payrol checks angular-rate on his shuttle alignment-trim …
- O.S. Dacy rouses below deck--
DACY
- (singsong)
- Good morning, bayou… Good morning, bayou … Good morning, dear-Dacy … Good morning, bayou--…
PAYROL
- Vernier-trim, is complete, Houston: We're down to three centigrads-per-hesit. That's optimal by the specs.
- And quick-reviews cables…
[HOUSTON]
- (2 sec.)
- Acknowledged, Shuttle-Payrol.
PAYROL
- (reads panel)
- The KU-antenna, is de-oscillated to point-1-4-Hertz-degrees-tracking-5.
[HOUSTON]
- (2 sec.)
- We copy: You may begin the photometrics-A experiment.
PAYROL
- Roger, Houston: Beginning photometrics-routine-A-One.
- And remote-starts the camera…
DACY
- (comes up-to, yawns)
- Good morning, Daddy: What are you doing?
PAYROL
- Good nooning, Dacy-dear: I'm taking pictures of oil flareoffs on Earth: It's for NASA and U.S.A. government business…. And you, slept-in late….
DACY
- (kneels on her seat)
- Astronauts' beginners' privilege …
- (looks out at Earth)
- Don't they have satellites that are closer and see better?
PAYROL
- Oh … we all take pictures of Earth… And our, present, Line-Of-Sight, is perpendicular to the sun,- which is ideal for this event in the upper horizon while the Earth turns …
DACY
- (realizes Earth: stares)
- Daddy!- The Earth is ahead of us!?- Did I oversleep and miss the moon?!
PAYROL
- (smiles a beat)
- No, we are still moving toward, the moon;-- I just turned us around for the view of Earth;- and our course-deceleration, called, a trim-burn,- which comes early-noon tomorrow.
DACY
- (boggled just looking)
- Wow,-- I never thought a spaceship would fly backwards, to the moon! I have to tell my teachers at school, when I get back:-- This is amazing!
- (leans to window)
- Can we have breakfast up here, please?
PAYROL
- Lunch; Sure: Right after I get this H-D-V-camera focused and centerline tracking….
- EXT. COMMAND - RECEDING REARWARD MOONWARD - (AS CONTINUOUS)
- CU-TO-FAR: Dacy watches from the window as they recede…
- CUT TO:
- INT. FLOPS AIRLOCK - 80K MI TO MOON - SUNLIGHT GLANCES-IN
- Flops, Marcia, embraced fully suited (hers baby-pink-motif) leaning on the AE-35 unit in the closed airlock… Awakening:
FLOPS
- (eyes squint open, pop)
- Whah…?! … Where are we, now?
- Ups to the back-window …
MARCIA
- (inspects AE-35)
- Ungh? … Where, are, we--… We are …
FLOPS
- (checks outside)
- This is not, a room I particularly
- (angles on window)
- want to be in, Marcia.
MARCIA
- (comfy; thinks aloud)
- I think, I remember launching from California, -and having dinner last night top-deck; -that was pleasant, Bill;- And, I remember, helping you suit-up,-- for an E-V-A … Then you called me on the radio and said, a space-pod was chewing your foot and I should suit-up and come outside …
- Flops crosses to the in-window,
- TRANSITION ON "SNOW":
MARCIA (CONT'D)
- ('dawns')
- Oh, I remember, Bill: This is where we were hiding: till they find us-- embraced like lovers lost in a snow storm on a mountain peak--!
- Ext. Flops shuttle open bay - 140K MI TO MOON - (flashback)
- Spacesuited, tethered, Flops welcomes Marcia coming out the airlock hatch, to be spacewalking-debutants… space-dancing…
FLOPS (VO window)
- (surprised)
- I must have been dreaming!- I mean, to suit-up and do and say all that.
MARCIA (VO)
- Yes: I remember dreaming too: after you got up and asked Hal.
FLOPS (VO clear)
- (more surprised)
- I, talked, to Hal!?-- For advice?!
MARCIA (VO unit)
- (puzzles)
- About replacing this A-E-35 unit:-- We have to test it, until it fails.
FLOPS (VO)
- (astonished)
- Wwoww!- I must have been Sleep-E-V-A-ing… -Aing!- That could have been exhausting!-- What if I'd forgotten my helmet or oxygen tanks?! Oh-wow!
- V.O. He SLAP-CHECKS HIS HELMET…
MARCIA (VO)
- I don't think that's something you would have forgotten, Bill.
FLOPS (VO)
- (a beat exasperated)
- Consider the number of variables that could have gone south!
MARCIA (VO)
- One …
- (a beat)
- Do you think it's auspicious,- an omen of something?
FLOPS (VO)
- No: I don't: Birds don't fly at this altitude.
- TRANSITION RETURN ON:
MARCIA (VO)
- Hungh?
- Int. airlock - (present)
- Marcia looks puzzled, as he stoops to examine the AE-35:
FLOPS
- And now, we are supposed to test, this,-- You're sure!?
MARCIA
- Yes-- but we should ask Hal again:
- (face-to-face)
- I don't understand the part about, 'Until-it-fails….'
FLOPS
- That's easy enough, Marcia:-- Standard equipment-testing-room procedures based on stochastic mathematical models find the primary failure-mode ninety-five percent of the time during the principal test phase interval; And unexpected secondary failure modes occur during any testing for the remaining five percent…. And, we learn from our failures,-- so, You fail it and write a report:- Easy!
MARCIA
- Yes, but-- How do you know, When, it will fail, to quit testing it, before, it fails?!
FLOPS
- I suppose you just call it, a test, until it does fail … then you don't call it that.
MARCIA
- …Oh… That's so arcane…!
FLOPS
- The key to building big-fast computers, is to keep-on running the straight and narrow line.
MARCIA
- Business-pedantics, so early, Bill?
- (checks watch)
- Maybe we should have breakfast --or make that, lunch,-- first, And then start dreaming on these things.
- They EXEUNT to the inner room, de-suiting…
- CUT TO:
- INT. SHEIK COMMAND - ANGLE-PASSING PAYROL (80K MI TO MOON)
- From a still large distance more eastward, it appears they have gained on the Payrol Shuttle facing Earth but they are totally-groggy or sleeping-off their all-night-all-day late party; Aide and Newswomen are even dressed for bed;
- Alfaseti telescopes across, amazed--
ALFASETI
- (breathes sleepy)
- Are there space aliens out there? … Out here?- … That's … Payrol!--
- (looks sans scope)
- How, does he get around, the moon,
- (and scoping again)
- so fast?!
- TELESCOPE: sees Payrol Shuttle coming away from the moon.
HELM (OS)
- (equally sleepy)
- Oh: That can't really be true: It must be an optical illusion-- we still have one day to get there.
ALFASETI
- (sits up, other word)
- Optical al-lusion, to what?-- Me losing?! He is passing us, going the other way!
HELM
- (enunciates the word)
- Illusion! You're seeing his virtual image in the telescope lens rotated 1-hundred-80 degrees: East becomes west, north becomes south, left is right, up is down, but clockwise is still clockwise … maybe-yes becomes maybe-no.
ALFASETI
- (checks in big end)
- Rotated?- I never learned it that way at the university: It was just upside-down and backwards!
HELM
- The same difference either way.
ALFASETI
- (steady scoping again)
- But their Shuttle is reared against the moon, -facing Earth,- and their angle is visibly increasing! Are we gaining on them?- How can this be?!
ENGINEER
- (hand-rides figuring)
- It's all in the angles: We are more east, closer to centerline, because we're behind and reach the moon ten minutes later, three hundred-fifty miles further east in its monthly period; They are slightly westward, arcking more parabolic, and slowing forward to reach their Lagrange-One point and enter lunar-orbit space for the swing around the moon….
ALFASETI
- (mentally computing)
- Oh … Okay … Keep me advised …
- He reclines for a nap … but bounces-- snoozing mid air …
- CUT TO:
- INT. FLOPS SHUTTLE OFFICE - DAYLIKE FLUORESCENTS (NOON)
- Flops is sprawled on the floor with the AE-35 Unit splayed;
- Marcia peeks-in from above--
MARCIA
- Bill. You've been testing that unit half-the-hour. Would you like lunch down here? Or on the Command Deck?
FLOPS
- Here,- would be fine, Marcia. This A-E-35 Unit is just not yielding to technological expertise … Did I bring my logic-signature--trace-correlator--pocket-analyzer--scope?
MARCIA
- I saw it in your shaving notions bag, last-evening.
- She floats down with pocket-sandwiches and squeeze-drinks;
FLOPS
- (strokes his cheeks)
- I thought, that looked familiar: I didn't remember having a WAP on my shaver…. Please, bring it, too. My beard will hold a few days anyway.
MARCIA
- Here are your pocket-sandwiches … Master … I'll get the pocket-logic-
- (and EXITS to bedroom)
- tracer, from the master,-bedroom….
FLOPS
- (cool rant)
- Master…?!-- Mister, would be fine…. Master, is for under-thirteen … and just because I'm sprawled on the floor, doing homework, doesn't mean I've reverted to age-twelve … this is zero-gee to begin-with … so, for all you know, I could be standing upright … floating above the wall… leaning on the floor…. Next you'll tell me to not-lean on the floor …
- She returns with the pocket analyzer (cf box-shaver+WAP)--
MARCIA
- (half a beat)
- Don't pique on it, Bill…. Here's your pocket-analyzer.
- (giggles; shakes No)
- That name always sounds funny….
FLOPS
- (sincere)
- What's funny about Pocket Analyzer?
- (a beat, chuckles)
- Oh…. Marcia, I'm surprised at you:- That's not very professional-like … Do you want a raise, Or stockshare?
MARCIA
- How-about you let me help?
FLOPS
- (brightens)
- Sure! Have a -lean- on the floor …
- (lends schematics)
- And start reading the logic.
- She sprawls opposite. He pokes paired analyzer-probes in the AE-35 Unit:-- READOUT of logic-trace fragments (SOUNDS LIKE HAL9000's printed-circuit-analyzer) matches sample-trace-marks she finds on the schematics …
MARCIA
- (pauses, looks about)
- You know-- it's really, bright, in here…?
FLOPS
- (busy poking)
- Those are the sun-day fluorescents.
MARCIA
- (cognizes)
- You mean, I can get my tan working indoors in your office?- I've never noticed before!
FLOPS
- (smally)
- I'll remember to install them in our Earth offices, too.
- They work-on, poking and match-checking schematics marks …
- CUT TO:
- INT. SHEIK LOWER DECK
- Aide and the Newswomen, who had extra rest and fewer duties at launch, are wide awake busy at his Master-Control Box:
NEWSWOMAN#1
- It won't hurt them,- will it?
AIDE
- (intently busy)
- No, of course not-- We're not, that, sadistic.
NEWSWOMAN#2
- (mocking to #1)
- No of-course not:- Sade was French.
AIDE
- (a beat)
- Mmm … This just reads-out a bunch of numbers and letters, and sets his calendar back one day -like in the movie, Around The World,- so he won't see when the readout ran….
NEWSWOMAN#3
- (quieter to Aide)
- What are the numbers and letters?
AIDE
- (grins)
- Shhh!- It's so secret, not even the Sheik, knows!
-NEWSWOMEN-
- / Oooooooh!
- … As numbers and letters stream-down, filling the screen …
- CUT TO:
- INT. FLOPS SHUTTLE OFFICE
- Sprawled on the floor, he has two probes in the AE-35 Unit, and she points nonchalantly at the same in the schematics.
FLOPS
- I find nothing basically wrong.
MARCIA
- We may, have to disconnect Hal.
FLOPS
- That, could be a bad, disaster.
- ANALYZER CHIRPS;-- she looks, puzzling 2 blinking matches…
FLOPS
- Oh,- that means, there are two, matching digital signatures … which means it's running two programs … or two subroutines … which means …
MARCIA
- A bug caught in the middle?
- A double-thick component EXUDES… from the splay… UNCLAMS!--
- Its endcap 'JACK-IN-THE-BOX'ES stiff out-- surprising them:
MARCIA
- (two beats stunned)
- What,- is, -that?!
FLOPS
- (still stunned)
- I, don't, know…!-- NASA doesn't do practical jokes,-- Do they?
- It then wilts, pulling back slowly but CLUNK, can't reclam.
MARCIA
- Maybe those hardware Techs at the launch site?
- CUT TO:
- INT. PAYROL COMMAND - 70K MI TO MOON
- Payrol reading his book … pauses, to notice--
- A huge sack bulges-up from below deck … Bulging … BULGING …
- … All the way in … floating a foot above the floor …
- … followed by Dacy-- head-pushing her sack of toys--
DACY
- Daddy, You don't mind if I play with my toys up here, Do You?- It's not like the lower deck is scary, but I prefer to be up here where we have more windows.
PAYROL
- (resumes reading)
- Just keep the sound low, while I'm reading.
DACY
- Okay;-- Sure.
- She unsacks and arrays dozens of electronic toys, helmets …
- CUT TO:
- INT. SHEIK COMMAND - 65K MI TO MOON
- A CACOPHONY OF LIVE STOCK MARKET AND CASINO GAMING SOUNDS: 10-Sheiks busily buying, selling, gaming, on their Internet laptops; but Alfaseti sits back leisurely awake …
ALFASETI
- (3 beats agape)
- I, can, afford them,-
- (to Helm and Engineer)
- If, the cat, likes them,-- But that's a wait-and-see.
HELM
- Put the cat on the video-link.
ALFASETI
- (in disbelief)
- It's not, smell-a-vision!
- CUT TO:
- INT. PAYROL COMMAND - 60K MI TO MOON
- Dacy operates her RC-helicopter … straight to the ceiling … Can't do anything by any Control … Tries another toy …
- Cut to:
- INT. FLOPS SHUTTLE OFFICE - (DAYLIKE)
- WHOOSH!--THWACK!-- RUBBERBAND-TWANG-STRETCH-- A GOLFBALL ON ELASTIC TETHER-RETAINER ZIPS INTO VIEW: slowing to a limit… And back … O.C. SHORT-KNOCKS-ABOUT a Practice-Meter-Post:
[HAL]
- (silkily smooth)
- Six under par.
FLOPS (OC)
- (even-ired)
- Don't, you, dare, -spam,- me: you overblown carburetor!
[HAL]
- We are oversimulated and our stroke is improving: We must be using aim.
- WHOOSH!--THWACK!-- RUBBERBAND-TWANG-STRETCH-- the golfball zips into view, farther … RUBBERBAND FRAYING…!-- And back.
[HAL]
- We should switch to the nine-iron as we get closer to the hole.
FLOPS (OC)
- We, are nowhere, near, a hole, in outer space!-- Will you, -please,- cut the kibbitzing?! I know, the difference, between a wood and an iron: This is my driving practice!
[HAL]
- We do need to keep our head steady. Put a nickel on the floor, to keep our place.
- WHOOSH!--THWACK!-- RUBBERBAND-TWANG-STRETCH… --SNAP!--
- GOLFBALL ZINGS-BY, SHORTTAILED-'THPPP!' RUBBER-SPLATTER…
- PING, PANG, PONG, ricochets off walls and objects about the room with perpetual random ease … PING … PING-PONG … POING…
- Flops dodges each variously-redirected near-miss-'THPPP!', arms serif-T'ed, torso-twist-thrust, bowlegging, lifting a leg, lifting the other, ducking left, right … all midair …
- CHASE: Ball-and-tail-careens-'THPP…P…' missing his dodges …
- TILL ZOOMING SQUARELY: as his head turns to fore-- SMACK!--
- CU: Flops, head socked back, arches away, slow-rotating…
- INT. COMMAND - 50K MI TO MOON - (AS CONTINUOUS)
- O.S. PING … PING … PING-PONG … POING … PING … (CONCURRENT); Marcia videolinked to her girlfriend [JOANNE],
MARCIA
- (listening to both)
- Doesn't he have, what it takes! And keeping that budget outflow in-line must toss his credit in arrears;-- Sure, I think you'll like him … He just needs more help than he needs a pussy cat curling-up on his lap …
- IN-ROOM-'THPPP…' up --CEILING PONK!-- 'THPPP…' back down…
MARCIA
- (harkens)
- Joanne … Listen; Let me get back to you, in two minutes.
[JOANNE]
- Sure, Marce-- Take five….
- Marcia keys-- videolink suspends; Macy's Christmas remains.
- INT. OFFICE - (AS CONTINUOUS)
- Flops finishes a slow-360 like a double-scoring-high-jumper while the ball careens-'THPPP' … PING … PING … PING-POING …
- AND RETURNING--SOCK! on the back of his head: upsetting his rotation midair but itself bounces-on … PING-PONG … PONG …
- INT. COMMAND - HATCH DOWN TO THE OFFICE - (AS CONTINUOUS)
- Marcia looks-in on his renewed wild dodge-dancing … PONG …
MARCIA
- (a beat more)
- I'm glad to see you are getting your daily exercise, Bill.
- He abruptly stops, posed like a mid-green golfer, one foot tiptoed crossed-afore the other, hand-leaning on the end of the driver turned head-out, -albeit floating tilted,- while the golfball continues-about … PING … PING … PING … PING …
FLOPS
- (cooly)
- Hello, Marcia. I was just getting-in a little driving practice … but Hal here, got me a little teed-
- (doubles over)
- --OOF--!
- Eases up-- the Ball corkscrews slowly out from his belly …
- He catches its Rubberband--
FLOPS
- Here it is:-- I didn't lose it.
MARCIA
- It's good we don't have sandtraps and lakes, in a Space Shuttle:-- You'd lose your balls, for sure.
FLOPS
- Nnngh.
- CUT TO:
- INT. 3-D MIL-SPACE SHUTTLE COMMAND (VIRTUAL REALITY SPORT)
- POV: Dacy playing Shuttle-captain in her headgear toy: A pair of vague Ghost-crafts approach on rearview radar,--
[MIL-HOUSTON (FILTERED)]
- (military angst)
- Shuttle-Blue, You have unidentified radar-ghosts painting your be-hind!
MIL-DACY (POV:FILTERED)
- (play-military)
- Roger, Houston: I see two pingers;- Can't shake them … What do you make of their trajectory?- It must be translunar velocity!
[MIL-HOUSTON (FILTERED)]
- Negative stealth identification, Shuttle-Blue. Use your OMS-thrusters and veer-away!
MIL-DACY (POV:FILTERED)
- (keys OMS)
- Roger,- Applying OMS-thrusters!
- OMS-KICK-- her Shuttle peels left … Spacecrafts whiz-ahead: narrowly MISSING-BUT-SCORCHED-VISIBLE in her thruster-burn.
MIL-DACY (POV:FILTERED)
- Kee-haw! Faked-'em hard-out!
[MIL-HOUSTON (FILTERED)]
- Copy, Shuttle-Blue,- But they are coming back … You'll have to unload the Zongblaster in the Payload Bay!
MIL-DACY (POV:FILTERED)
- (keys Bay doors)
- Roger,- Opening Bay doors, now!
- The visible-Spacecrafts return afore-- beginning GHOSTING…
- Bay-door-open-INDICATOR LIGHTS,-- TING!
MIL-DACY (POV:FILTERED)
- I still have visual … Look sharp!
- Zongblaster RETICLES TARGET-- LOCKING on one Semi-ghost…
- She keys-- Zongblaster DUST-GLINTING GREEN LASER blasts the first Semi-ghost into SPACECRAFT-REALITY --AND-- OUT…
- The second, fully re-ghosting, veers away, but--
- She keys-- OMS-KICK-- her Shuttle peels oppositely and…
- The Ghost SEMI-REALIZES lit-up passing through her tail…
- She keys-- VERNIER-- spins her about-face while she also--
- Keys-- Zongblaster-LASER SWEEPING ACROSS … blasting the Semi-ghost just to FULL REALITY…
[MIL-HOUSTON (FILTERED)]
- Shuttle-Blue, More space-ghosts are coming-in … And your speculation is correct:-- They are coming from the moon … You'll have to get out of there: You can't take-on them all!
MIL-DACY (POV:FILTERED)
- Roger, Houston-- I still have one Live here: I'll attempt immediate reentry!
- Keys-- VERNIER-- aligns her rear forward-deorbit…
- Keys-- OMS KICK:-- The mostly-re-ghosted Craft lumbers-by, radiating its own deorbit-maneuver power to chase her down…
- Her Shuttle dives quickly toward Earth; the Ghost chasing…
- AEROGLOW BEGINS,- outlining the Ghost-craft too…
- But then hers BLOOMS: obscuring all outside,--
MIL-DACY (POV:FILTERED)
- Houston, Can you copy?
- But it's only DIGITAL-STATIC-HISS half-sync'ing.
MIL-DACY (POV:FILTERED)
- Houston, If can you read me:-- The Aliens are following me to Earth…!
PAYROL (VO)
- Dacy-dear?
- She keys --"GAME PAUSE"-- and removes the headgear--
- INT. PAYROL COMMAND - 40K MI TO MOON - (AS CONTINUOUS)
- Payrol is sitting at Command, turned to her in a back seat;
DACY
- (removing full-helmet)
- Yes, Daddy?
PAYROL
- We are approaching Lagrange-Point-One: Would you like to watch the lunar-orbit insertion?
DACY
- Sure!
- She ups and sits in her Command seat, and looks out ahead.
DACY
- What does it look like?
PAYROL
- (points to speedometers)
- Watch the velocity meters:-- They will stop slowing… and speed-up as we cross into lunar space and begin accelerating toward the moon….
DACY
- (comparing four)
- Which one?
PAYROL
- All four: The fastest is our Earth-orbit speed in kilometers-per-hour; the next is in miles-per-hour … The slowest are our Moon-orbit, speeds.
- The velocity readings 6035…Kmph 3750…K mph 4635…Kmph 2880…K mph all-decreasing… Stop-decreasing…
- And begin-increasing…
PAYROL
- Like a sloooow-- rollercoaster …
- (quieter to Dacy)
- We are now Lunarians:- Moon-men.
- Dacy looks at him, pondering the fullness of his meaning…
DACY
- (to the moon; quieter)
- Does that mean we have to talk quieter?
- CUT TO:
- INT. FLOPS COMMAND - 30K MI TO MOON
- Flops wearing a red-ball-centered white diadem (REFL) and a fresh "Mitsu-PC" kimono, sits looking forward out Command…
- Marcia comes up with dinner… Sets it on their dining table behind … And gives kimono-Flops-backside a second look--
MARCIA
- I really like the idea of eating Japanese, tonight, Bill…
- (a beat concerned)
- You weren't hit too-hard, were you?
FLOPS (REFL)
- (smiles in the window)
- No. I got this at the Tokyo Geekie-Gookie Nip-Con, but never wore it … Found it again, packing…. I'm okay.
MARCIA
- (not so certain)
- I was worried you might have gotten knocked for a loop … We are, going, to make it back to Earth…?
FLOPS
- (turns with a smile)
- Sure … What would have you doubt?
- … Looking at her, Resembling a Kamikaze-pilot-something…
- CUT TO:
- EXT. SPACE - SHUTTLES FAR, TINY - BEFORE A LOOMING MOON
- Closing lean on the big turn around moon west hours away …
- FADE OUT
- FADE IN:
- INT. SHEIK COMMAND - ANGLE-PASSING PAYROL - 1100 MI TO MOON
- From a nearing but still distant eastward, it appears they have closed the gap on the Payrol Shuttle facing Earth…
- Alfaseti telescopes across, amazed--
ALFASETI
- (steady-viewing)
- That's Payrol! Still facing Earth, rear toward the moon,- his visible angle -now equals- ours:- But you, said, they would be accelerating, toward the moon, once they passed Lagrange-One…!
- (steering scope ahead)
- … and Flops is just ahead of him!- How can this be--!?!
ENGINEER
- They have done their deceleration O-M-S-burn for the backside pass; They will re-accelerate from the other side for the return to Earth.
ALFASETI
- Oh …
- (an idea)
- Do we need do that?
ENGINEER
- No but it is scheduled: As we round the moon we gain too much speed for a quick direct return, so we burn-off some before, and pick a little up after.
ALFASETI
- How much, speed, can we gain?
ENGINEER
- Depends on how close we round the moon.
ALFASETI
- (grin grows)
- Shave it to the bones--!!
ENGINEER
- That may be too, close: We do not know that much about the farside topology-- pictures from the '70's.
ALFASETI
- (new enthusiasm)
- Just steer around the mountains:- Let's go for it!
HELM
- (inserts)
- Verniers are not strong enough to steer at our speed: We will have to fire the Orbit Maneuvering System rockets to stay in orbit and steer: And that will pick up more, speed.
- Alfaseti emotes nods from all, pleased despite objections …
ENGINEER
- It is not, a good idea:-- We would have to lose the extra speed on the way back to Earth, and with little fuel reserves;- We can't afford to bounce extra orbits to win a race.
ALFASETI
- This is a good, idea:-- We can take the lead again: This is my race, to win! And any time spent in the lead counts for extra valor, in a long-distance race!
HELM
- Formula-One Rules?
ENGINEER
- I'll see how much I can shave: Helm, Let's try running your terrain radar, luna-ain….
- Helm actuates the Earth-landing-radar, -PINGING;- Engineer runs course-computations for skimming the moon…
ALFASETI
- (eager again)
- What else can we do to accelerate this race?!
AIDE
- (yawns)
- Did anybody dump the excess waste-disposal water?
ENGINEER
- (busy but)
- We'd have to shoot, that, not dump it,- to make much of a difference.
ALFASETI
- (scheming again)
- Of course--! We will dump it when we fire the orbit-boosters--!
HELM
- (ponders)
- What good will that, do?-- If we dump it before, boosters, we can get a little more thrust!
ALFASETI
- (excited clever grin)
- We are all set to retake this race, in the turn--!
- CUT TO:
- INT. FLOPS COMMAND - MOON AT 100 MI, NEARING EARTH-ECLIPSE
- Shuttle rotates to forward, left side "down" over moon;
- Kimono'ed Flops, Marcia, seatbelted ready but up too early,
FLOPS
- (yawn, finishes controls)
- Houston: We are Go for semi-orbit.
[HOUSTON]
- (3 sec.)
- Roger, Flops: Go for lunar backside pericynthion swing;-- See you again in-- 29-minutes….
FLOPS
- (yawns)
- Roger, Houston: Talk to you real soon.
- (try-awakens, to Marcia)
- Why does NASA always refer to my younger brother?
MARCIA
- Were you always nice, to Roger?
FLOPS
- (to the moon)
- Yeeaah: In a big-brotherly-sort of way: yes.
MARCIA
- Maybe they haven't had breakfast yet.
FLOPS
- (nods)
- Nnngh.
- (a small BURP)
- That shrimp with hot sauce was good last night. I can still taste it.
MARCIA
- (to the moon)
- Let's watch the moon,- shall we, Bill?
FLOPS
- (rallies himself awake)
- Good idea, Marcia! This is the only time we will ever see it together … From this vantage!- Wakeup! Wakeup!
MARCIA
- (2 beats-- exudes)
- Oh: I'm getting the urge!
FLOPS
- (a puzzled stop)
- For what?
MARCIA
- To take a warm bath for fifteen minutes: Nobody's watching!
FLOPS
- Yeah, but-- We've got to pilot this Shuttle around the moon.
MARCIA
- You, have, to pilot the Shuttle, Bill.
FLOPS
- Yeah, but-- I'd feel safer with you watching by my side.
MARCIA
- Really, Billy?
FLOPS
- Yeah.
MARCIA
- (wiggles, smiles)
- Well,-- It was just an urge…
- O.S. HAL BUSTS-UP LAUGHING…! Sobering, They face about…
HAL (OS)
- (loud-not-containing)
- I have just figured-out what A-E-35 really, means! … It is the, Amateur Experiment Thirty-five: Designed to E-V-O and collect cosmic rays every hour for 72 hours, then shut itself
- (and laughs-on)
- Off -automatically- before we land!
MARCIA
- (2 beats eyes mutual)
- We really should unplug him.
FLOPS
- (turns forward again)
- Later: No time for that now.
- CUT TO:
- EXT. SHEIK COMMAND FRONT - ROUNDING MOON WESTSIDE AT 20 MI
- Alfaseti, Engineer, pour over computer details; while Helm, Aide, wincing sideways, 10-Sheiks, wide-eyed, raising arms, hands-- shielding as though the shuttle were about to crash the moon … Engineer looks in-then-out … Alfaseti likewise--
10-SHEIKS (VO)
- (building anguish)
- / The sky looks so flat--!
- / The moon is getting so full--!
- / This is the end of the moonth--!
- / The grim reaper: harvest moon--!
- / The cosmic-background-microwave!
- (add each-- till all)
- 'Ahh'hhh'hhh'HHH'HHH'HHH…!'
- INT. SHEIK COMMAND - (CONTINUOUS SOUND)
- POSTER-FLAT-MOON-IN-SPACE appears as on a wall (NOT 3-D); Alfaseti scans the forward course beyond the moon--
ALFASETI
- (smirks, emotes)
- Everybody, Relax!-- Allah made the moon go round this way too … Shee!
- They quickly ease-up-on-command…
- Computer displays nearer-orbits, booster points, options--
- MOON LOOKS NORMAL (3-D); He resumes; They wipe-faces as the shuttle proceeds along the moon, toward the backside….
- CUT TO:
- INT. PAYROL COMMAND - BACKWARD, ROUNDING BEHIND AT 100 MI
- Payrol, Dacy, finish a quick lunch while nearing the moon;
PAYROL
- …so he gave them cookies and milk, And after a suitable tenure,-share in his office, chair, for half the afternoon, he sent them home-- And that's, the real, story….
DACY
- So Presidents are like real-people.
PAYROL
- Yup,-- like you and me!
DACY
- I like your stories, Daddy: They're better than horrid-war-stories.
PAYROL
- (checks moonside window)
- Who tells you war stories?
DACY
- (looks too)
- The younger boys at school: It gives them a macho complex.
PAYROL
- (bemused)
- I suppose it would…
- (checks flight-controls)
- …And, We are close enough to begin our lunar-backside-pass duties:-- Let's finish up and get to it: Make sure no space-aliens, skyjack, the Shuttles, and that sort of rot…!
DACY
- (giggles)
- That's only, a video game, Daddy.
PAYROL
- (plays it up)
- I'd suppose so … But if Earth-men can think of that, then don't you suppose space-aliens have thought of it too…?!
DACY
- (giggly)
- But space-aliens already have their interplanetary space-cruisers: They don't need a dinky orbiting Space Shuttle from Earth.
PAYROL
- I suppose you're right … I'll ask your teachers at school-- when we get home.
- She giggles roundly … and they finish their last bites…
- CUT TO:
- INT. FLOPS COMMAND - MOON BACKSIDE PASSES LEFT 20 MI BELOW
- Marcia takes a DV-Cam movie of it; Flops just watches …
MARCIA
- (eye to camera)
- Just like my friends' home movies.
FLOPS
- (puzzles a beat)
- What friends of yours have home movies of the backside of the moon?
MARCIA
- (smiles)
- I have some friends who work at the space museum.
FLOPS
- (grins, slow nods Yes)
- Ohhh-- NASA-- home movies.
MARCIA
- I mean, the moon is something everyone takes pictures-of … You should take some pictures, too, Bill: Start a photo-menagerie you can look-back-on later: Get back to nature … Think of it as a screen-saver for your livingroom wall.
- He nods Okay.
- CUT TO:
- INT. SHEIK COMMAND - SKIMMING 4 MI MOON MOUNTAINS - (SUN)
- MOUNTAIN TOPS ZIP-BELOW (1.5 mi./sec. = 260 ft. blurred);
- Alfaseti is resolute as radar altitude decreases 100 m/sec;
- Helm agitated, winces, cringes, covers face, peeks one eye, leans; emotes, worries, at each nearing-missing mountain …
HELM
- 7-thousand meters!
ALFASETI
- (intent like Capt. Kirk)
- Look sharp!
HELM
- 6-point-7.
- (petty-pleads)
- Please, can we start the boosters?! 6-point-4.
- Alfaseti watches higher as tall mountains near their level;
HELM
- (a beat)
- Use your telescope to see them!--
6-point-2 kilometers!
- Radar INDICATOR-TONE, WARNING (like Speak-&-Spell)--
WARNING
- OBSTACLE AHEAD: E-T-A: TEN SECONDS.
HELM
- (open-eyes-mouth squeals)
- Aaahh-llllaaaahhh…!
- A GLINT of Flops Shuttle 9KM ABOVE A 7KM-TALL peak ahead;--
ALFASETI
- (points elated)
- There, it is!-- Engage boosters! Helm!
- Helm keys and sticks hard left … swinging Alfaseti right as OMS-THRUST KICKS-IN, acceleration SEATS THEM HARD, BANKING-YAW VEERING left … skirting 1Km below the too-tall peak:--
HELM
- (shrieking)
- That was almost Disney Land--!
- Helm mad-steers LEFT-RIGHT ROLLING-YAWING-VEERING amid the tallest mountain peaks;-- All lean-to, grab-hold, swaying …
ALFASETI
- (a beat)
- Engineer: Dump the waste water!
ENGINEER
- (nose-hold, pulls handle)
- Dub-pig waste water…!
- O.S. LONG-FLUSH: Lower deck rear toilet-collection-tank …
- REARVIEW VIDEO: Water streams down … to the moon below …
- ZOOM-BACK CUT OUT TO:
- EXT. TAILING SHUTTLE - SPURTING-VEERING THROUGH CRATER RIMS
- Water-stream churns on the moon, BILLOWING A GRAY STORM …
- CUT TO:
- INT. PAYROL COMMAND - NOSE LOW, 10 MI ABOVE BACKSIDE
- Dacy kneeling, rests on the console, face at the window … a dust storm billows far ahead, scouring-- whitening a path …
DACY
- (points to storm ahead)
- Dad-dy: Is that a cosmic no-no?!
PAYROL
- (follows her pointer)
- Yup! That's what that looks like:
DACY
- We can't drop-off our laundry here: It'd get dirtier!
PAYROL
- Agreed: We'll just cancel that mission-objective.
DACY
- (new to this)
- NASA will let you do that!?
PAYROL
- Astronauts' prerogative: We log the details:
- (begins digital-record)
- Captain's log: Moon-date: 5-27-1-point-23;- Payrol commanding: While orbiting the backside of the moon of planet Earth in the Solar system we are experiencing a temporary navigational obfuscation by lunar-surface dust storm bearing similar direction and velocity … No signs yet of intelligence or life forms.
- (keys-off recorder)
- Good, work, Dacy-dear: We'll keep close eyes on these guys.
DACY
- (props-up 3 beats)
- Why is the moon so shiny?
PAYROL
- (follows her looking)
- Well, that's an anomaly, Dacy-dear: It should be as gray as the dust.
DACY
- Is it metal?- glass?- water?- ice?…
PAYROL
- Some kind of very cold temporary snow or ice, I should think, Dacy-dear: It'll evaporate eventually.
DACY
- Is that what they call, moonshine?
PAYROL
- I don't really know, Dacy-dear: It's probably not any worse.
DACY
- Okay: I'll ask my teachers at school, when we get home.
- CUT TO:
- INT. FLOPS COMMAND - 9 MI ABOVE NEARING LUNAR TERMINATOR
- The moon (left) is shadow-streaked nearing the terminator;
- Sheik Shuttle weaves below among the mountains, trailing a billowing dust storm, and gradually passing into the lead;
FLOPS
- (watching back left)
- Will you look at that, Marcia?! I always knew there would be aliens on the backside of the moon!
MARCIA
- (reaims camera)
- How can you tell there are aliens, Bill?
FLOPS
- (leans out of her LOS)
- Look at how they fly!
MARCIA
- (looks)
- Oh-- They're way down there-- Like
- (and camera again)
- rampaging gerbils!
FLOPS
- (bemused)
- And, where, have you seen rampaging gerbils?- The science museum again?
MARCIA
- Just a little imaginary, redaction, Bill-- like calling your P-C-rovot, a mouse, even though its tail comes out its snout-- like an ardvaark--!
FLOPS
- (tacitly agrees)
- I use to figure I was fingering the button-end … my laser-mouse must be a manx-mouse!
MARCIA
- (smiles)
- Just another one of those little things that make hardware-people choke-up with laughter … You remember them!?
FLOPS
- Ahh, yes: The Shuttle-launch technicians seemed inclined to that sort of humor.
- CUT TO:
- INT. PAYROL COMMAND - APPROACHING SUNLIT DUST STORM 9 MI UP
DACY
- (smiling ahead-'down')
- This must be the first time the moon has ever had a bath-- in a billion years! I wonder if Santa Claus will come up, this year.
PAYROL
- I don't know that Santa's reindeer ever make it up this high: This is higher than their usual roof-top.
- RUNWAY STRIPLIGHTS rightish behind the storm's clearing …
DACY
- (points rightish)
- Daddy, look: Now, there are lights down there: Like an airport runway!
- (tells-daddy)
- Just like in my StarTrails Science
- (leans to better view)
- reader!
PAYROL
- (looks and finds)
- Well-- So there are!
DACY
- Can we lean over for a better view?!
- Shuttle rolls slowly right… to nose-low side-"down":
PAYROL
- (controls roll)
- Well, okay-- but not too far, Dacy-dear: I don't want you falling out.
DACY
- (silly)
- Dad-dy! I'm not going to fall out: We're in a ballistic trajectory:- We're weightless!
PAYROL
- (sitting tall, finishes)
- Okay: Just don't lean too far over the edge.
- She giggles, shakes No…
PAYROL
- There: Can you see better, now?
DACY
- (already dreamy)
- Ungh-hungh… Do you suppose the dust has been covering spaceship runways for millions-or-billions of years?!
PAYROL
- I suppose that's possible, Dacy-dear: There are runway-lines on mountain tops in Peru.
DACY
- I read about those … But that's on Earth: This is the moon, backside.
- (2 beats-- perkier)
- Did you know, Daddy-- According to my schooltime Internet researches, People used to believe-- the moon came from the Earth's mantle when Venus passed close-by … Before it went into its own orbit … They say that's why the moon is very much like the upper crust of the Earth.
PAYROL
- (smiles)
- I suppose it is, the upper crust.
DACY
- Now of course, these days, people believe anything.
PAYROL
- (chuckles)
- I suppose they do, Dacy-dear.
- CUT TO:
- INT. FLOPS COMMAND - CROSSING THE LUNAR DAYSIDE TERMINATOR
- Marcia reads. Flops returns arms full, and sets transparent PC panels in his front and side windows … She pauses:
FLOPS
- I almost forgot, I wanted to demo Meglosoft's new X-X-Sport before we cross the lunar dayside terminator.
MARCIA
- Dos Equis…?
FLOPS
- (grins, busy)
- Yeah, clever,- isn't it?! I haven't decided whether to call it, Mehican Spaceoff, or Backseat-Driver-Rage … Imagine-- installing PC's in every, automobile, to play roadtrip games!
- Sits and tweaks PC-panel alignments, tapping various keys-- Graphics-images overlay live the moon and Sheik's shuttle …
- He settles, approves his alignment;- And grasps the sticks,
- And begins:-- Aiming and firing missiles at Sheik Shuttle, EACH LAUNCH ROARING PASSED the lower deck… Unsettling her--
MARCIA
- (puzzled … bemused)
- Billy, Why are we hearing the sound of the rockets?- I thought that was impossible in outer space. Did your programmer forget a game-parameter?
FLOPS
- (busy)
- Nooope… That's one of those pseudo-science foibles: Radiant-exhaust is almost, as-loud, and in-fact faster because-- there is no atmosphere to slow it … There are no sonic booms, But you can hear the exhaust-- when its burnt-fuel-blast hits the hull!
MARCIA
- (abruptly worried)
- Bill--!! Did NASA, Authorize this?!
FLOPS
- (grins, eases up)
- This is just virtual, Marcia,- Like playing Submarine on paper but with kilowatt audio and Live overlays on the other players as targets…
- The missiles EXPLODE near their target … He fires more.
FLOPS (CONT'D)
- (explains points)
- Pick any points you want to target, Its camera-routine identifies,-and-tracks their motion … And makes the targets seem Live….
- Ext. space - near Sheik Shuttle
- Small cometary space rocks tumble toward the Sheik Shuttle…
- V.O. Delayed BOOMS AS EACH explosion bumps the lower deck;
MARCIA (VO)
- (cooled)
- Something DARPA would like to have?
FLOPS (VO)
- Yeah, Exactly-- Or already has….
MARCIA (VO)
- (a beat)
- Is that a third, player, Bill?
- Int. Flops shuttle - (resume)
- A UFO enters the display and fires missiles at the Sheik;--
FLOPS
- (surprised pause)
- I don't know: There are, variables.
MARCIA
- (half a beat)
- Makes a wicked, dayside terminator.
FLOPS
- (smiles)
- Mmmm. Yeah. I'll have to note that.
- CUT TO:
- INT. SHEIK COMMAND - HEADLIGHTS VEERING AMONG MOUNTAIN TOPS
- Helm is steering mightily to avoid the mountains dark under the headlights; Alfaseti is elated; Others more tentative;
ALFASETI
- (go-go-sit-dances)
- Go-- go-- go-- ooh-- ahh-- more-- more-- more--!
- Fuel INDICATOR-TONE Warning (VO)--
WARNING (VO)
- CARGO BAY: TANK FUEL: LOW
HELM
- (commandeers: PULLS UP)
- We pull up now.
- Shuttle PITCHES up-- Lifts to the mountain tops….
- Fuel INDICATOR-TONE Warning (VO)--
WARNING (VO)
- CARGO BAY: TANK FUEL: EMPTY
- Helm cuts OMS-Thrust, just as--
- Fuel INDICATOR-TONE Warning (VO)--
WARNING (VO)
- OMS-POD: RESERVE: ACTUATED
- OMS-POD: RESERVE: DEACTUATED
- THRUST OFF: chair-cushions expand; Shuttle LEVELS; silent.
HELM
- (whistles awed)
- That was one, fat, belly dancer!
- (a beat)
- Cured me of martyrdom, seven years!
SHEIK#3
- (science-struck)
- Did you see how many belly buttons and yah-yahs, the moon-rear has…?!
AIDE
- (jumps exiting agitated)
- No way!- You're not sending me out
- (and EXITS to lower deck)
- there again,-- Behind the moon…!?
ALFASETI
- (puzzled smile)
- Not a problem: We're clearing the mountains-- and we've retaken the lead! There's not much in the main cargo bay tank: Remember that, next time.
- A mountainous plateau streaks under the headlights, while tiny COMETS PELT-about, spurting-up GLOWING FOUNTS PASSING…
- A BIG FOUNT WHOOSHES-OVER a wing: FLAT-SPINNING-UP the ship…
- EXT. SPINNING SHEIK SHUTTLE - RISING - BACKLIT DUSTSTORM
- Headlights beaconing afore the barely-sunglowing dust wall.
- CUT TO:
- INT. FLOPS COMMAND - DIM DARK DUST STORM RISES FORWARD
- Marcia is focused reading the Bible and Science And Health;
FLOPS
- (watching Sheik storm)
- Goodness! I hope they survive that.
- (3 beats-- glances to)
- Reading the Bible?
MARCIA
- Studying: The Sunday Lesson-Sermon.
FLOPS
- It's not, Sunday, you know:-- It's not any, day, at the moon … just a month … Does it make a difference, which day it is, up here?
MARCIA
- (smiles)
- No difference: And this is the second time, today: specially because we're beyond the moon.
FLOPS
- What's special beyond the moon?
MARCIA
- (feels)
- To remember that God is out here too-- and not just in Washington D.C.
- He smirks.
MARCIA (CONT'D)
- The Apollo astronauts used to read from the Bible: The moon is a place to read and ponder: A thinking-rock set on a hill, that cannot be hid-- among the stars.
FLOPS
- (ventures)
- How do you know God is in Washington D-C?
MARCIA
- I went to the National Cathedral, there.
FLOPS
- (concerned)
- How does that imply that God is in Washington D-C?
MARCIA
- Well: There's no, National Synagog; Nor National Mosque; Nor a National Peace-pipe for the other guys….
- He frowns a beat.
MARCIA
- You don't think our government would break the Constitutional provision for not-establishing, any particular religion: if they hadn't discovered God in Washington D-C…?
FLOPS
- No, I suppose not;-- I'd always thought they built it to appease God-- for when She, passes-over.
- She's reading.
FLOPS (CONT'D)
- (reads across 3 beats)
- Do you have a favorite passage?
MARCIA
- I like the one from Psalm 1-39:
- (looks ahead; as reading)
- "If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me."
FLOPS
- That's pretty.
MARCIA
- It's special because we're in a place like that: far from home;-- and space is like an ocean.
FLOPS
- (accepts)
- Mmmm!
MARCIA
- And then I read in Science And Health, to get a more spiritual view of the passage.
FLOPS
- What's more spiritual? The passage makes good sense as you exposed it.
MARCIA
- Yes, but the Bible is not a literal reading book-- not any more: The morning doesn't have wings.
FLOPS
- I'd figured it meant figuratively: the rising of the sun across the morning sky and heading west over the ocean in the late afternoon.
MARCIA
- Figurative isn't good enough for deep thinking.
- He nods Acceptable-okay.
MARCIA
- (hand thrust emphasizes)
- There's got to be something that can be actually taken-- some wings, to actually fly.
FLOPS
- Now, that, sounds literal!
MARCIA
- I mean for the psalmist's thought, to fly,-- Not, just birds at dawn.
FLOPS
- And you found … Ezekiel's solar-nuclear-fusion-powered aircraft?
MARCIA
- The small puffy clouds in the morning, high over the sea, look like giant birds flying: pink and white and gray.
FLOPS
- And he's going to fly a pink cloud?
MARCIA
- (a beat)
- A cloud is a non-animal object that floats, balancing: neither-raising-nor-lowering … In another, passage, God, asks Job, whether he knows the balancings of the clouds-- what was always there but scatters the light differently … Clouds blow with the wind,-- with the compulsion of the Spirit of God, upheld by continual reproofs under His Law of Soul.
FLOPS
- (smiles)
- That's more en-visionary.
MARCIA
- Yes,-- in a realistic way: seeing things as existing, before they are manifest as such.
- (beat)
- But modern Sunday-T-V-translators don't do it much justice.
FLOPS
- Too-spiritual?
MARCIA
- More like, spiritual-eyes-ed…
- (wow-eyed preaching)
- Though I live life in the fast lane and take-up leisure-residence on a helicopter-bordelo in the boondocks of Nevada, Even there, shalt thine 10-41 Manual steer me o'er the tax-auditors shadowing my trusts.
FLOPS
- Real entrepreneurial spirit!
MARCIA
- Yeah.
- CUT TO:
- INT. PAYROL COMMAND - HEADLIGHTS INTO DUST STORM
- Dacy leans face-to-window to see more than the gray dust--
DACY
- (pouts)
- Daddy: We're missing all the good parts.
PAYROL
- Don't pout, Dacy-dear: Such is life on the moon.
DACY
- Can't we go around this storm, or over it?
PAYROL
- (thumbing his Manual)
- I'll see whether we can, Dacy-dear: It should let-up soon enough.
- --his SPACE DUMMIES FOR BILLIONAIRES, Manual …
- CUT TO:
- INT. SHEIK LOWER DECK
- Aide, Newswomen, flop and tumble at one end of the room;
-NEWSWOMEN-
- / Oh dear!
/ Are we going to be all right?!
AIDE
- (faking)
- The Sheik has everything under control: This is called, artificial gravity.
-NEWSWOMEN-
- (giggle)
- / Weee!
/ And every bit as much fun as natural, gravity!
- CUT TO:
- INT. FLOPS COMMAND - DUST STORM REACHES ALTITUDE, DARKENING
- Window wiper spray runs muddy rivulets freezing dust on the front and side windows … He clears away his PC-game panels;
MARCIA
- (taps on side-window)
- It's freezing instantly on the side windows.
FLOPS
- (stares unminding)
- We'll get a complete wash-and-wipe back on Earth.
MARCIA
- At least we're not missing any Prima-shave ads, this time.
FLOPS
- (brow-slap, ups, exits)
- Oh: A brainstorm just hit: Take the helm, Marcia: I'll be back in five minutes!
MARCIA
- (watching him go)
- Bill: I can't fly this thing alone with these controls!
FLOPS
- Then take my-seat … Be Right Back--
- (EXITS to below deck)
- Brib, Brab, Burb, Barub-- whatever.
MARCIA
- (resituates, louder)
- That's B-R-B, Bill…. But I still don't think I can fly this thing, alone.
- (looks out again)
- I can't even see where we're going.
FLOPS (OS)
- (loud below)
- Turn-On your fog-lights!
MARCIA
- Yes. Bill.
- (sotto voce)
- Lounge-deck captain!
- CUT TO:
- INT. PAYROL COMMAND - DUST-OBSCURED (HEADLIGHTS)
- Dacy searches for even a hint of view--
DACY
- This is as bad as driving in the fog in central California.
PAYROL
- Wait till you're old enough to have-to, drive!
DACY
- How can you see where we are going? And where everyone else is?!
PAYROL
- (to instruments)
- Well-- I can't really: It obscures the radar too. But we can't slow down.
DACY
- (rises to go)
- I have just the thing--!
- She EXITS to below deck…
- CUT TO:
- INT. SHEIK COMMAND - 10 MI UP - STARS-ALTERNATING-STORM
- Alfaseti, Helm, Engineer, watch amazed; 10-Sheiks woosy in their barf-bags--
SHEIK#10
- (emotes into bag)
- Time to feed the laughing-hyenas…!
- And barf-laughs-in…
ALFASETI
- (to Helm)
- Can't you slow the spin?!
HELM
- (grimaces)
- I'm trying,-- But vernier thrusters are not designed for changing major rotational velocities; And the yaw-reactors don't actuate till reentry in the Earth-atmosphere to deorbit!
- CUT TO:
- INT. FLOPS COMMAND - DUST-OBSCURED DARK (NO HEADLIGHTS)
- Flops returns from below deck … to his seat; the dust storm faintly flashes of rythmically turning headlights ahead;
MARCIA
- (pouts at the window)
- We can't see anything:- Not a star!
FLOPS
- (leans-with; cheers)
- We're both stars, Marcia.
- She low-brow smirks … and resituates;
FLOPS
- (sits; searches panel)
- Didn't find the headlights?
MARCIA
- (sits)
- There's something out there, Bill-- straight ahead,-- flashing!
- Sheik Shuttle headlights faintly beacon ahead in the storm;
FLOPS
- (leans to window)
- A flasher … behind, the moon!?
- (2 beats watching)
- A pulsar!-- That's a star, too.
FLOPS (CONT'D:REFL)
- Could be an astronomical discovery!
- CUT TO:
- INT. PAYROL COMMAND - STILL HAZY (HEADLIGHTS)
- Dacy returns to sit, with a squeeze-bulb horn toy--
DACY
- (offers it)
- Here, Daddy: Use this!
PAYROL
- Dacy-dear: Nobody can hear a sound in the vacuum of outer space….
DACY
- Turn-On your inter-ship intercom.
PAYROL
- All right….
- CUT TO:
- EXT. SPINNING SHEIK SHUTTLE - DARK EAST BACKSIDE AT 20 MI
- Headlights still on, now flashing shine on the black moon.
- CUT TO:
- INT. FLOPS COMMAND - 20 MI UP - HAZY DARK EXITING STORM
- They watch for flashes …
- AWOOGAH-AWOOGAH!-- Horn over the Intercom…
FLOPS (REFL)
- (ignorant habit)
- Hold your horses!
MARCIA
- (looks about side)
- Who's trying to pass us out here behind the moon?!
FLOPS
- (looks about side)
- I'm not really sure, Marcia: I can't see much out there, yet: And they probably can't see us: They're probably just as lost in this dust storm as we are.
MARCIA
- Flash your headlights for them….
FLOPS
- Yes. Marcia.
- (sotto voce)
- Right-front admiral!
- He FLASHES THE HEADLIGHTS several times … and leaves off…
MARCIA
- How many people are out here behind the moon at this time of month?!
FLOPS
- None but us….
- (searches 2 beats)
- Nothing; no response….
MARCIA
- It must be one of them:-- Give them your horn, back!
FLOPS
- (looks about controls)
- We, don't have, a horn: NASA didn't install a horn:-- this is so banal.
MARCIA
- Then use a blade of grass between your thumbs-- or a tear of paper.
FLOPS
- (brightens)
- Paper!-- That always used to work:
- (searches for paper)
- Do we have, Paper in outer space? NASA, NASA: What did you do, with the pa-per? I can't blow a laptop between my thumbs.
- CUT TO:
- INT. PAYROL COMMAND - CLIMBING FROM THE DUST (HEADLIGHTS)
- The windshield is once-wipered, with little adhering dust.
- INTERCOM SQUEAL-BUZZ! A tear of PAPER LIKE A SOPRANO COW…
- Dacy, a Puzzled-Really look… And redoubles to Payrol…
- INT. FLOPS COMMAND - (AS CONTINUOUS)
- An edge of lens-wipe paper between his thumbknuckles,--
FLOPS
- (delighted like kid)
- That still works, Marcia…!
MARCIA
- (looks about side)
- I don't see them yet, Bill:-- Try again!
- Flops blows his paper edge: LIKE A SOPRANO COW…
- INT. PAYROL COMMAND - (AS CONTINUOUS)
- INTERCOM SQUEAL-BUZZ! Like a soprano cow again…
DACY
- (giggles smiles)
- I don't think they quite got the idea: The moon is not so rural!
PAYROL
- It's Flops' sense of humor: Give him an inch-- and he'll take the whole worm.
DACY
- (full giggles)
- Very funny, Daddy.
- RADAR TINGS-- locate two Shuttles ahead… Dacy reads it:
PAYROL
- (points to radar)
- It says those are the two Shuttles,
- (points ahead)
- climbing out of the dust storm.
DACY
- Good--! Then the race is back on!
PAYROL
- Well, yes: It never really stopped.
- CUT TO:
- EXT. MOON EASTSIDE AT 100 MI - SHUTTLES HEADLIGHTS COMING
- Rising from the backside, Sheik Shuttle pinwheeling bottom-forward … a brief lead … Flops … a brief lead … Payrol …
- CUT TO:
- INT. SHEIK COMMAND - STARS-ALTERNATING-MOON EAST
- 10-Sheiks, grunting spin-wilted noises; Engineer, Alfaseti, Helm, rest, lying on opposite walls; O.S. below deck, Aide, Newswomen, squeal and laugh-rolling-about;
- Helm almost doses;
ALFASETI
- (irked-out)
- You're supposed to be thinking of a remedy!
HELM
- (still put-out)
- This is the first rest I've had in two days;-- I can't stay awake five years straight like space captains I've seen on American television….
- CUT TO:
- INT. FLOPS COMMAND - EARTH RISING OVER MOON EAST EDGE
FLOPS
- (exults hands)
- Earth, again! Our home planet!--
- (to Marcia)
- It didn't disappear on us!
MARCIA
- (cute-smiles)
- Yes, Bill.
FLOPS
- (keys Comm)
- Houston, Come in!- We see planet Earth;-- we're heading home!
- (to Marcia)
- This is where all the NASA-guys cheer for us;-- Listen….
[HOUSTON]
- (1 more sec.)
- Copy, Flops: This is Houston: We have you on deep-space radar-net: Welcome back to the real world, space-racer-naut.
- [10 Houston Personnel CHEER]
FLOPS
- (and grins unto Marcia)
- Thank yuh, thank yuh, Hooston.
[CAPCOM]
- (inserts)
- Hey, Billy-bard: Canaveral here: Get this-- Your mooning days are behind you, now!
- [50 Canaveral Personnel raucus LAUGH]
FLOPS
- (sheepish-dour grin)
- Real great, Cap-Com.
- (smirks to Marcia)
- You know what the book says: Women are from Venus; Men are from Mars.
MARCIA
- (runs up a rant)
- That's silly, Billy: The phrase was obviously coined on male chavenism: The more obvious fact is that while women are from Venus, men, are from the Asteroid Belt:-- notably loose, lazy, wandering, free-spinning, bit players; coldly amusing minimalists and warped individualists; modular, water-bearing drifters, marching in mostly similar races; a few dashing eccentrics, incohesively diverse; a handful of overly-pumped shepherds, fractious priests, crashing kings,- rarely getting their acts together; never settling,- never amounting to meaningfully much while hanging-out together; except, there sure are, a lot of them, around, all-year-long!
FLOPS
- (a beat stunned at her)
- I never thought of it that way.
MARCIA
- (breathes a beat, irks)
- Some of my best friends are real,-asteroids!
- He nods.
- CUT TO:
- INT. PAYROL COMMAND - EARTH RISEN (MOON AT 200 MI)
- Payrol checklists panel switches for the reboost homeward;
DACY
- (eyes closed solemn)
- There's no place like home … Click … Click … Click … there's no place like home … Click … Click … Click.
- (eyes pop to Earth ahead)
- It's still so puny.
PAYROL
- Give yourself a little more than three clicks, while I set up the return boost.
DACY
- Okay: Three and a half-- Cli…
- (a beat to her feet)
- Must be the ruby slippers, I don't, have: Even billionaires have to do it their own way.
- (to Earth again)
- I'll have to become a trillionaire: and command a faster Space Shuttle.
- CUT TO:
- EXT. PINWHEELING SHEIK SHUTTLE PASSES (BOTTOM FORWARD)
- Still well-ahead in the lead but farther out from direct …
- And glides into bright SUNLIGHT … (8 sec. to full)
- CUT TO:
- INT. FLOPS COMMAND - LEAVING MOON ORBIT, EARTH AHEAD
- VERNIERING pitch-roll-yaw to put the Earth directly ahead,
FLOPS
- (eyeballs Earth-aim)
- Prepare for reboost acceleration, homeward.
MARCIA
- Shouldn't we dump the excess waste water first-- for thrust-to-weight-ratio efficiency?
FLOPS
- (correcting aim by radar)
- Yes, of course: Good idea, Marcia!
MARCIA
- (EXITS to below)
- O-kay: I'll be just a moment.
- Several moments, Flops idles … re-eyeballs his Earth aim;
FLOPS
- (loud for Marcia)
- Don't take too long, Marcia: This is still a winnable race…!
- O.S. LONG-FLUSH: Deep-muffled toilet-collection-tank …
MARCIA (OS)
- (below deck)
- All done!
FLOPS
- O-kay! Get back up here quickly: Time to go-go-go!
MARCIA (OS)
- Coming!
- (enters, sighs, cheers)
- Well! That eliminates that, little
- (and sits, focuses ahead)
- scaly-wag!
- Bright SUNLIGHT BREAKS from the lunar horizon far aside;
FLOPS
- (aback)
- It's certainly not, ours!
MARCIA
- Of course not, Bill.
FLOPS
- (concerned)
- Is there something else I should know about, Marcia?
MARCIA
- Nope-- I feel just, fine-- just, something to rid from my mind-set.
FLOPS
- (half-worries)
- Wasn't anyone in the company….
MARCIA
- Nobody, Bill: Just, some sports can't pursue a little fun without churning a big wake of trouble.
FLOPS
- Did you discuss this with your Church Minister, or report it to the Police Counselor,-- on Earth?
MARCIA
- Not this time: They can only log it and leave you with a bash-me label: not really encouraging. This is the real world, Bill; not the ancient Holy Lands: I still have to deal with it, my-own-self … and it's not the biggest bang in my world.
FLOPS
- Yeah, but-- dumping it in outer space, behind the moon …
MARCIA
- What would you have me do with it? Grind it up and recycle it as Soylent Green!?
FLOPS
- No-- I guess not.
MARCIA
- (laughs)
- I guess not!
- OMS-THRUST ROARS-UP for the reboost burn …
- CUT OUTSIDE TO:
- EXT. TOILET-STREAM CROSSES PAYROL SHUTTLE BURN 50 MI BEHIND
- Its sparkly frozen-MIST SUNDOG-RAINBOWS his headlights …
- Tumbling dark lumps, A SHORT FAT FISH, obscuring the view …
- And stream and mist drift onward …
- Presently the SHUTTLE BLAZES WHITE in sunlight as well …
- Followed by a tenuous dust storm, huge, chasing for Earth…
- TIME LAPSE TO:
- EXT. PAYROL SHUTTLE - 230K MI TO EARTH; MOON 7K - SUNLIT
- Evening Earth hangs like a 1 in. blue marble at arm-length,
- A 100 miles ahead a pinwheeling shuttle glints in sunlight.
- And behind, the moon hangs large but perceptibly shrinking, and banded about the middle by a narrow, gray ring of dust.
- FADE OUT
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